The Droppin Well bombing. December 6, 1982,

Then you know how dirty we can get LOL....times have changed, but we have to guard against our sons and daughters being sent to another unknown war where its just another, every another is someones child! I think I may have seen this war through every stage, from having a laugh on NIRTT at the other BK, chasing my arse out through Whiterock gates, to picking up bits of my friends inside a pub, to safety inside a hangar making sure the lads were getting helis out the door on time, to casevacs by heli as the rearcrew (there were never enough AAC to go round) with some nasty things to see, I have seen every sangar in the province from deepest Fermanagh to XMG to the North and back for many days over 2 years and I have the utmost respect to you smelly buggers that used to get onto the Lynx and ask us to turn the heating up, but you could **** right off, it made me gag in the back! In my latter days mate I did other **** in the "dirty war" as you refer to, but its not dirty, theres no-one shooting at our boys with maybe a few exceptions and they dont even get a campaign medal for serving there. I have watched the towers fall, the roads re-open and the rebirth of Belfast to the repressed city it ever was, I have seen Derry move on at a slower pace, but hopefully it will all catch up. A couple of years ago I just so happened to be taking a slow trip to the RUC in Derry, I cant find it in wiki so wont name it and decided to fly over the Droppin Well but the guy in the other seat had never heard of it and was mortified that I relayed my story for the next 10 mins....until I realised it had happened before he was born, and he wasnt that special after all!...young uns eh?.....

You're preaching to the converted, Bean.
It is - and will be - another dirty, undercover war, that will be kept from the headlines.
No soldiers this time though - at least not visibly on the streets.

You know Stevie,

Its a bit of wittering as well, because Squaddies moan, bitch, Tick and whinge no matter what....but this as you say is my story for those to come to see that it is also their story.

I have never had the chance to kill a terrorist, I have in the past few years contributed to putting gangsters and thugs away though, which is quite a different thing. Terrorists see themselves as Guerillas, "warfighters" and some of those may I say it contentiously who were IRA/INLA were indoctrinated to feel that way. They all espouse the memory of Michael Collins in the same breath as Eamon DeVallera without realising their own perverted history...but regardless, may I say that for me to move on, like the people of NI, the differences have to be put aside and I would more than anything wish it so, but, theres always a but.......you need to read the current batches of 18-20 yr old republican sympathisers to realise that 2016 and the centenerary of the Easter uprising is just around the corner. Maybe this is not what you all wanted to hear, but the fat lady hasnt sung yet, so I am sorry to say we will repeat the cycle, unless we really adopt a shoot to kill policy, you get found with a gun....summary execution, why did the british government never impose martial law?.....it would have been the same for both sides!!

Wittering on, my arse. You're 'de-fragging' mate, nothing wrong with that. Your being able to put this on 'paper' not only helps you but lots of others too, those reading your words tonight and also those who find them later.
A good friend who had suffered a long time with dark memories similar to yours, came to an evening 'do' and found, to his surprise, a group of widows from the very area where he had been witness to a trauma involving an IED attack on UDR men.
He was able to talk, to laugh, to remember, to cry his tears, and left that night with a few answers and a lot to process but also having aired some long-held demons.
You may be able to this for yourself Bean, and I dearly hope you can. It's your journey, and when it is being followed by those reading your words on here, it helps them along their journey too.
So keep 'wittering'.

This thread has stirred many emotions in all of us, and has prompted at least two chaps to post here who have not posted before.
May I say to them that the day we have together at the NMA in September is a good place to meet and share.
The Ulster Ash Grove ceremony, followed by a walk among the trees can go a long way towards easing pain and regrets.
It can also bring back unwanted memories, but you will be among friends who KNOW.

Guys,

It was never intended to stir emotion in you, was was opening up my head in a way that I never could before because we all feel anger, but as I am still in the army, I felt that I could never show that anger as that is what we are so good at "controlled emotions", but what happens when you leave? I have read Taffs account time and time again and there is not a word I disagree with, we lose all sense of place and time and to be fair we were ALL very very young. I PMd the very mate that was with me that night as I am trying to make some sense of the night (I have a bloody good memory!), the aftermath and the following days and believe me that night wasnt the only time I was betrayed. As I have said before, my background and that of my fellow soldiers at the time was council house estate, what the hell different did we know? Before I tell you the weeks following I still feel that I have to find as many as possible who were there that night, you need not have been in it when it went off, just to have been there was enough and I will open it to the local community of BK if they so wish, but feedback from you guys would help immensly. I have to go back, I cant have regret in my heart as well as the pain, so before I get too old I am making this my mission....but here are the words my friend sent to me on FB message.....

"yeah I'm up for a trip back there. Sounds like you need to get over some stuff. Maybe I'm lucky, either I didn't see some of the **** you saw or I just seem to have blanked it all out... Still remember talking to Paul Delaney just before it went bang, then seeing him crushed under the concrete later. Still remember you shouting for your jacket, the flames, helping people out, people laid out on the grass bank.
Going to bed and getting woken up 2 hours later by that dumb ass AAC WO2.
I still owe Paul Delaney a tenner maybe we should go back and spend it on a drink in the bar.
We didn't make it happen mate we were just kids drinking in the wrong bar when two brainwashed bitches decided to put a handbag full of explosives next to the wrong pillar.
Drop me a line we should keep in touch more."

Now tell me that he has forgotten? I hope we get to the bar on that night to spend Paul Delaneys "tenner" I for one will savour that drink as if it were my last because on that night he didnt get a chance to.....sorry again, just wittering on...

I tried to think of what triggered this emotional change in me, and I have come to realise that we have something very profound in common with the old boys who fought at Arnheim and those other bloody sensless battles from wars gone by. By maintaining your silence you preserve your personal memories and heartache, but whilst those memories will be forever with you, you can ease the heartache just a bit by talking to those who suffered in silence for so many years also.

This brought me to a question my 17 year old daughter asked me regarding (quite out of the blue) if I was around during the "troubles" in NI and did I have much to do with it, she of course knew that I had been in a bombing but had very little detail other than it was something I rarely mentioned and often brushed off as one of those things that just happened as if it was just another night down the pub. She asked for my help in providing her "international schoolmates" with an insight as to what it was like mainly to live in West Germany in the time of the cold war, I told her about "crash outs" and egg banjos in the back of the REME truck with a few yellow handbags of the famous "Herfie", the carnage on the German roads, the free ploughing service provided by British tanks for irate german farmers etc etc. I even borrowed some stories from friends to make my story seem more interesting and then I realised I had nothing really much to talk about that would interest her and I offered her a few words on my service in NI to pad it out a bit and keep the kids in the picture that we were not all sat in the back of the REME truck drinking and that whilst we did this there were soldiers suffering in a tin shack in their own homeland waiting to be shot at, and even the REMEs were short staffed because of attachments there.

I finished my apprentice training in Arborfield in 1982 and after a short course on Lynx and Gazelle as an air tech (I know, I know but someone had to work all night to get you boys home for a shower and a kip after COPs) my first crack at the "real world" was NI when it was still quite mixed up, maybe not as mixed up as it was for you lads in the early 70s but I had been brought up with my fair share of ITN and BBC news and took most of it in as a child. I arrived in early Aug 82 and departed in April 84 to move to Detmold with my new wife Ann (the only wife I should add, as its rare these days for them to put up with the army life for too long). I served a further 6 months with the AAC in Aldergrove in 1991 (or thereabouts, whilst I was away Ann was diagnosed with early cervical cancer, but she didnt want some other poor bugger to be spammed at short notice for my tour so made me stay for the final few months, whilst she dealt with it on her own. I am happy to say I`ve still got her and she is fit and well) My last posting to NI came about some years ago recently and I spent, I think just over a year or thereabouts doing a job which gave me immense satisfaction but not one that as you might understand I can discuss. Maybe I am bad luck, but within a few weeks there, there had been a notable incident and I had to put the phone down on her without saying goodbye, I can only imagine her thoughts, and although I couldnt explain over the next few days I assured her I was ok as she knew I was nearby. She is an absolute diamond to me cos the following week when something else happened, she just said "talk to me when you can...." I was involved in the follow up for them both and she understood comsec, I remember a programme many years ago on the TV and one of you "steely eyed trained killers" were complaining that its normally the REME bloke that manages to get a shot off at the terrorist and usually misses, I got one back for the REMEs over that time and I feel proud of that...

If I have said too much then please as ever admin cut as you require, but I cant go into any more detail and feel that maybe I have said more than I should have but most of it is open source anyway...I just wanted you to get an idea, that whilst we can deal with it mostly by squaddie humour, the bloody wives know when we are faking it!

Bean.

Dead Horse said: "It can also bring back unwanted memories, but you will be among friends who KNOW" - as you are when you come on and post your memories.

It's good that you have been able to do this, and we are grateful for your sharing. It is one way of letting the dark times out under some control, rather than being overwhelmed by them and having to fight them.

To all those who lost their lives that night - remembered always; to those whose lives were changed forever - you are never alone, even at the darkest times.

This thread has stirred many emotions in all of us, and has prompted at least two chaps to post here who have not posted before.
May I say to them that the day we have together at the NMA in September is a good place to meet and share.
The Ulster Ash Grove ceremony, followed by a walk among the trees can go a long way towards easing pain and regrets.
It can also bring back unwanted memories, but you will be among friends who KNOW.

I was in the Droppin Well that night on 6th December 1982 and remember the night so well, it still haunts me even after 29 years. I have not posted on here before but felt the need tonight. I was one of the lucky ones, protected from the blast and collapse of the ceiling by a pillar on the dance floor, although I was buried for many hours that pillar kept me alive. I don't know who my rescuers were so cannot thank them personally, but I do thank them from the bottom of my heart, without their bravery, courage and dedication to duty I would not be alive now.

I know many died that night, but their names and memories live on in all of us survivors, I want to pay my respects to Corporal Dave Salthouse - Light Infantry, he was a lovely, kind man, a true and proffesional soldier, but above all he was a true friend and one I miss terribly. To all the civilians and other soldiers whom I didn't know but whom so sadly lost thier lives, you will never be forgotten.

It's so ironic, that night was my first night out in Northern Ireland, working in Derry but living on the airfield right at the bottom of the camp we didn't get out much.......and I had promised my then fiance' that I would be a good boy and not go out, maybe I should have stuck to that promise....things might not have been so bad....lol.

Anyway I am waffling on - I hope to maybe get over next year to the Memorial Service, will take some courage to do it but it might help to bury some of the horrible memories, I'll see how it goes.

Once again - We will remember them.

Cpl S.D. Prime (R.A.O.C).

[Jock2413]

R.I.P.

A day for the start of my nightmares to begin again 6/12/1982. 29 years ago i lost 4 mates that night and had to identify one
L/CPL Steven Bagshaw 1 cheshire. It was supposed to be a night of celebration, on the completion of the junior NCO's cadre and promotion to L/CPL for three lads , Clinton( joe ) Collins ,Steven Bagshaw ( Baggy) and Dave Stitt.
i Had left 10 min before it happened and was walking up to the pads, as my wife was over and staying at a mates pad.
when we heard the collapse and ran back, the site still haunts me. we worked all night it was awfull.

I'm sure she'll be grateful to hear those words mate, I hope you are able to get in touch with her.

I am, at this moment writing a letter to a certain Mrs Cooke. I have never met the lady, and probably I never will, but it is important for me to tell her what her daughter said to me that evening. I of course, couldnt be arsed with words that night, there were people dying after all and I didnt have time for all that sh1t.

For 29 years I have struggled with the words that brave young girl said to me, she was by far the bravest person I knew that night. She was 21, beautiful (ask anyone) and bright as a button when it came to squaddie "put-downs". She was as I have stated elsewhere, way above me in the food chain but there she was with her insides out for want of a better expression.

She simply said to me "Paul, tell my mummy I love her".......thats why I have to tell Mrs Cooke her daughters last words to me!!

Bean

......now dry your eyes you sad lot........live with it as I do.

The fact that she called me Paul made me cry that evening!

guys as ever I am suffering today....here is my latest FB post, it is so fecking wrong but just felt right if you understand?

29 years ago today, the Irish National Liberation Army decided that it would be a good idea to bomb a certain pub.
Politics of the time aside, I, as an 18 year old soldier was faced with the challenge of "human jigsaws"....which arm/leg goes with which body as they were laid on the grass bank, never mind the heads, and that is NOT intended to be witty by any stroke of my silly mind.
I did manage to get one particular girl out, she was 21 years old and way out of my league but we can all dream! I loaded her into the ambulance with half of her body missing knowing that she would probably never make it, sadly she didnt.
I was covered in her blood from head to waist, but there were others who needed help and it amazes me to this day, how we all kept going. There was no panic, there was no disgust or puking at the sights that evening held for us, we just got on with it.
There were funny moments amongst the carnage, and I jest you not when you put a girls head on a blokes body it lightens the mood....and if that were to happen today I would be shocked, but that night it just seemed ok.
I am writing this for those who never escaped that night, not the dead, but the living for whom this is an annual tribulation!
Sorry to those of you who dont really bother but it might strike a chord with a few of my mates......

I never intended to say that Taffs account wasn`t "kosher" or "halal" as we must now cater for all kinds. He was absolutely right in what he said and if I ever get the chance to meet him I will have to hug him cos I know we shared something that cannot be explained.

In my day (FFS I sound old now) but racism and mixed marriages in the west of Scotland were all about Catholic / Protestant, not Black, yellow, or any other colour by which we choose to describe ourselves by......I say that word "ourselves" because that is what we are....Black, white, yellow........we are on the same planet, we all want the same things, we will settle for less if need be, please just dont kill our children!

I am now a grand dad to 2 perfectly brilliant little cherubs......my wife loves me (unless the bitch has been lying in which case I will deal with her later), my children adore me for being the mad b4stard I am and my grandchildren just tolerate me cos I let them pick their nose without telling them off........I have a lot to live for, so I thank you for giving me the time of day by reading my ramblings and tolerating it, I would love to get together with some of the people who went through that night just to allow the ghosts to rest in peace.

Another edit:

I will be in the newly renamed "well" on the 6th of December 2012 at 2315 (30th anniversary) thinking of my friends and colleagues with my whole family, and I will be paying for them to make the trip as it is that important to me.....are there any of you out there who will be interested in a survivors party to help me explain it to them?

b34n@yahoo.co.uk

I will make the booking and all the arrangements cos it means a lot to me, cheers guys, you make me feel better by just talking, but I havent unloaded the whole lot yet!!!

Bean.